Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

What were the career paths of each member of "The Monkees" after the band disbanded? Did any of them have successful music careers?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Why is Elon Musk so ugly?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I can read

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

How should I go about convincing my mother that my foreign online boyfriend isn't out to get my holes or scam me?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Where can I find BPO projects?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

With 'I Love Lucy' and beyond, Desi Arnaz helped shaped TV as we know it - NPR

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Democrats be honest, how many of you were wishing that Musk rescue space flight blew up?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I can count

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Mets and Dodgers are more than living up to heavyweight billing - New York Post

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Final Fantasy Tactics is at long-last getting a remaster for Xbox and PC, and its got a release date - Windows Central

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Aphantasia: Why Some Minds Are Blind to Images - Neuroscience News

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Who are some of the darkest skinned actors in Hollywood?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

My girlfriend told me that she wants to move in with me. I have my own apartment and I like my peace and quiet, but I also love her. We've been together for a year now. What should I do?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Is the Democrat party connected with organized crime in America?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Which daily habits can help you keep a clear and positive mind?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t buy bullshit

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Rory McIlroy makes an 8, barely breaks 80 in missing cut at RBC Canadian Open - NBC Sports

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for fakery

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I see through liars

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t cotton to rapists

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says: